Buchanan Bandits Read online

  First published by Allen & Unwin in 2017

  Copyright © Text, Marcus Emerson 2013

  Copyright © Illustrations, David Lee 2013

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or ten per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.

  Allen & Unwin

  83 Alexander Street

  Crows Nest NSW 2065

  Australia

  Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

  Email: [email protected]

  Web: www.allenandunwin.com

  A Cataloguing-in-Publication entry is available from the National Library of Australia

  www.trove.nla.gov.au

  ISBN 9781760295608

  eISBN 9781952535963

  Cover design by Marcus Emerson and Sandra Nobes

  Text design by Sandra Nobes

  Cover and internal illustrations by David Lee

  Set by Sandra Nobes

  www.marcusemerson.com

  This one’s for Parker …

  Contents

  Begin Reading

  Monday. Backstage in the cafeteria.

  Monday. The cafeteria.

  Tuesday. Before homeroom.

  Tuesday. Homeroom.

  Tuesday. Before gym class.

  Tuesday. The locker room.

  Tuesday. Outside the red ninja hideout.

  Tuesday. The red ninja hideout.

  Tuesday. The front office.

  Tuesday. The careers fair.

  Wednesday. The hallways.

  Wednesday. The hallways.

  Wednesday. Homeroom.

  Wednesday. Lunch.

  Wednesday. The careers fair.

  Wednesday. After school.

  Thursday. Before school.

  Thursday. Lunch.

  Friday. Before school.

  Friday. Homeroom.

  Friday. Right before lunch.

  Friday. Lunch.

  Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja series

  There comes a point in everyone’s life when they find themselves getting chased by a pack of ferocious werewolves. But I didn’t think it would happen to me until I was much older, like in seventh grade.

  My name is Chase Cooper, and I’m a sixth grade ninja … getting chased by werewolves.

  I sprinted through the dark forest. Branches slapped at my face as if they were against the idea of my escape. I’m not sure what I did to make the trees angry. Maybe it was because I carved my initials into one of their friends when I was younger – who knows?

  I pulled my ninja mask from the hood of my sweatshirt and slipped it over my face.

  With every step, dry leaves crunched under my feet. I could hear the same crunching from behind me. The monsters were closing in and I knew there wasn’t much time until they caught me.

  ‘Man, Chase is really out,’ a werewolf said.

  I wasn’t sure what the monster meant by that, but I didn’t want to find out.

  ‘Draw something on his face,’ another werewolf giggled.

  The other monsters chuckled with her.

  Panic washed over me, so I tried running faster but it felt like my feet were sinking in mud. I was still moving, but it was like someone had hit the slow-motion button on me. Since escape wasn’t an option anymore, I spun around, ready to face the werewolves.

  As their growls grew louder, I clenched my fists. There was no way this ninja was going to go out like this.

  Suddenly the werewolves burst through the trees like violent water crashing against the shoreline. I braced myself for impact, setting my feet firmly in the ground, expecting a collision of epic proportions.

  But instead I felt an explosion of hot air come from behind me. The blast was so strong that the surrounding trees face planted, flattening the werewolves into the earth like mushrooms being squashed by that little plumber guy in that video game. I watched as the furry monsters blinked rapidly and then burst into a thousand tiny drops of light, fading out of existence.

  It was super cool.

  ‘Chase Cooper!’ boomed a voice from the sky.

  I turned slowly to face my enemy, afraid. I had a pretty good idea what I was going to see. Crossing my fingers, I whispered, ‘Please don’t be a giant robot monster of President James Buchanan. Please don’t be a giant robot monster of President James Buchanan! Please!’

  But of course, standing before me, nearly fifteen metres tall, was a giant robot monster of President James Buchanan… and he looked angry.

  The robot raised one foot slowly and slammed it into the ground as he took a step forward. Everything shook as he laughed heartily, arching his head back like an evil villain.

  As the robot’s head sailed forward, I got a good look into his eyes, and saw exactly the kind of evil necessary to create this massive robot of destruction. It was Wyatt, leader of the red ninja clan.

  He was pulling on levers and pushing buttons inside one of the eyes of the robot like he was handling some kind of oversized video game controller.

  A bunch of red ninjas teleported into existence around the robot’s feet and started rushing towards me with drawn swords.

  I smirked, remembering my ninja training. I stepped forwards and clapped my hands together as powerfully as I could, releasing a sonic boom of super sub-zero temperatures that turned the red ninjas into frozen popsicles.

  Don’t ask me how it was done – it’s a top-secret ninja move that involves crazy science … or something.

  Suddenly, a voice cut through the air, squealing in fear. ‘Help!’

  My eyes narrowed, quickly scanning the monster until I saw the source of the plea. It was my friend Faith! She was being held captive in the left hand of the robot. His grip must’ve been strong because she was struggling to free herself from it.

  ‘Faith! Hang on, I’m coming!’ I shouted.

  I leapt through the air, straight for President Buchanan’s robot face. The air behind me caught fire from how quickly I was flying through space. I stuck out my fist, aiming for the robot’s eye where Wyatt was comfortably sitting, probably sipping on soft drink with a mouth full of snacks.

  ‘Wyaaaaaaaaatt!’ was my battle cry as I shot forward.

  ‘Chase!’ Faith shouted. ‘Look out for his other hand!’

  But it was too late. I was too focused on making it to Wyatt that I totally ignored the rest of the robot’s body. President Buchanan’s mighty robotic hand was the last thing I saw before it swatted me like a bug.

  Instantly, my head snapped up. My arms shot forward as I struggled to catch myself before falling into the dark forest below me, which … wasn’t there anymore. Instead of trees, I saw a cold linoleum floor. And instead of falling to my death, I was sitting on a bench. I looked up and blinked slowly, soaking in all the information I could. A pink eraser was staring back at me.

  … and so were all my friends.

  Students devoured their food at cafeteria tables across the room. It was lunchtime on Monday. I was always extra tired on Mondays and have been known to drift off during class from time to time. I patted at the pocket of my jeans, making sure my phone didn’t fall out when I jumped awake. I was happy to see that it was still there.

  ‘Good morning, sunshine!’ Zoe, my cousin, said as she grabbed the eraser from the table. Zoe’s one of the nicest, coolest k
ids on this planet. Even if she weren’t my cousin, I think I’d still be friends with her, and that’s saying a lot.

  I rubbed the sore spot on my head, still too confused to talk. A small puddle of drool was left on the table where my face had been, and I could feel that my cheek was wet. Embarrassed, I dug my chin into my shoulder, trying to wipe the drool away, but only made it worse by smearing it all over my shirt.

  ‘Sick,’ Gavin laughed. Gavin used to be the captain of the hall monitors. He’s a serious dude, and was crucial in busting the kids responsible for wreaking havoc at the talent show awhile back. He’s also going out with Zoe, which is … yuck.

  Everyone else laughed with Gavin. I knew my friends weren’t actually making fun of me, but I was still embarrassed.

  ‘What the heck were you dreaming about?’ Zoe asked, smiling like she knew a secret.

  I tripped over my words until I finally managed to form a sentence. ‘I, uh, it was nothing … really, it wasn’t. Just something about werewolves and robot presidents controlled by a wavy-haired kid.’

  Zoe tilted her head slightly, still grinning. ‘Was Faith in the dream?’

  Faith sat across the table, covering her mouth. Faith is super awesome. She’s the only girl I know who actually wants to play zombie video games. One time she brought over a pizza for lunch and we spent the afternoon playing ranked matches online. I went up at least ten levels with her on my team!

  ‘Great,’ I murmured. ‘Was I talking in my sleep again?’

  ‘Mumbling is more like it. You might’ve said something about rescuing Faith at one point,’ Brayden said. Brayden was one of the first kids I became friends with a Buchanan. He’s a wealth of knowledge when it comes to monsters and is obsessed with werewolves, which is probably why they were in my dream.

  Everyone laughed at Brayden’s comment, even Faith, which helped me feel less embarrassed. If she had acted weird, then it would’ve been awkward, but since she was in on the joke, it was cool. I couldn’t help but laugh a little myself.

  ‘I always have weird dreams when I eat gummy bears before I go to sleep,’ I said, and then added, ‘And I had, like, a lot. There’s an irresponsible amount of gummy bears in my belly right now.’

  ‘Bad dreams are the worst,’ Zoe commented.

  ‘Bad dream? More like one of the most awesome dreams I’ve ever had!’ I said, rubbing the sore spot on my noggin again. ‘Did one of you guys flick my head or something?’

  Zoe held out the pink block eraser so I could see it. ‘I think Jake threw it.’

  Jake was seated at the table right behind ours. He spun around on his seat when he heard his name. ‘Enjoy your nap, little baby?’

  Jake was easily one of the ‘coolest’ kids at Buchanan, but that didn’t make him cool by any means. He was one of the tough guys, always picking on someone to make himself look awesome. As the star quarterback, all of the football team respected him, following him around like a wolf pack.

  To put it bluntly, Jake was a jerk.

  Jake had targeted me ever since I switched the school’s mascot from a wildcat to a moose. Long story short – a few months ago I was given the opportunity to choose a new school mascot. After a lot of thought, I chose the moose because those things are massive and majestic. Of course now I see how uncool a moose can be, but at the time I seriously thought I was doing something great!

  A lot of kids were annoyed with my decision, but Jake took it personally since he was a rock star on the football team.

  I wiped my mouth again, hoping there wasn’t any more drool on my face.

  ‘Go ahead and keep that eraser,’ Jake laughed. ‘I got a million of ’em!’

  As always, I wanted to say something mean to him but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. ‘Thanks, man. That’s very generous of you!’

  ‘Nice burn,’ Faith muttered.

  Before I could say anything else, the bell above the stage went off, signalling the end of lunch. If this were a normal week, then everyone would dump their trays and filter out of the cafeteria to class, but this week was different.

  It was the sixth graders’ careers week.

  The last half of each day was going to be spent in the cafeteria, learning about all kinds of different careers. It was a way for us to gain some real-world experience way before venturing out into the real world ourselves.

  I’m normally against stuff like this because it feels a little forced, but in this case, I was really excited. Each student would be paired with a professional from the career they chose, and they would learn about it throughout the rest of the week. A careers fair, which was basically a huge party, would be held on Friday afternoon. I’m pretty sure it’s the teachers’ way of rewarding themselves for a stressful week of students crammed into a cafeteria.

  The school president, Sebastian, was the student in charge of the entire event. I know what you’re thinking – if Sebastian is in charge of it, it must be shady.

  For those who are new to the story, allow me to quickly explain what I’ve had to deal with since my first day at Buchanan School.

  It’s pretty much all to do with a kid named Wyatt who, I’m sure you remember, was piloting the robot President Buchanan. During the first week of school, Wyatt recruited me into his ninja clan. Some bad stuff went down and I ended up leading the ninja clan. Ever since then, Wyatt has been a splinter in my eyeball. He’s even recently started referring to me as his ‘sworn enemy’.

  A few months ago, Wyatt started a second ninja clan that secretly trains in the abandoned greenhouse at the centre of the school. The red ninja clan. They all wear red wristbands so they can tell each other apart when they’re not in their ninja robes.

  President Sebastian and Wyatt are now BFFs or something because Sebastian made Wyatt the hall monitor captain, firing Gavin from that position.

  It was possible that up until that point, Sebastian was just picking bad friends, but I soon found out that there was more going on than anyone realised. It was only last week that Gavin and I saw Sebastian hanging out with Wyatt in the greenhouse while the red ninjas trained.

  Oh yeah, and get this – Wyatt’s now the school’s vice president. Last week, a penguin named Hotcakes was lost in the school and I’m the one who found him, but Wyatt’s the one who got credit for it. And what happened because of that? Sebastian made him VP right there on the spot. Everyone was so happy that Hotcakes was safe that they cheered at Wyatt’s promotion.

  Those last four paragraphs would be the strangest thing I’ve ever written if they weren’t the truth. What a school, huh?

  President Sebastian is clearly in cahoots with Wyatt, but I had no idea why.

  Anyway, the career week was Sebastian’s idea, and Principal Davis loved it so much that he ran with it. To be honest, everyone thought it was a great idea. Every student in the school was stoked to be a part of it, me included, which is how I found myself standing over a cafeteria table that had a name tag with ‘Chase Cooper’ on it.

  My table was next to the school supply shop, which was called ‘the Pit’. Teachers call it the Pit because it was like the pit stop in those car races, where cars stop to refuel and get repaired. They thought the supply shop was like that for kids, since we buy school supplies and snacks from there.

  But the students called it the Pit because it was in a part of the cafeteria that stunk like an armpit, in the far corner of the lunchroom, near the exit that led to the school dumpsters. The smell was horrendous, especially on hot days. There were times that it stunk so bad it gave me a headache.

  I pinched the clip on the back of my name tag and attached it to my shirt. Under the name tag was a folder with some sheets of paper tucked inside. I took a seat and flipped open the folder.

  There were some pamphlets that explained the job search process and other ones about how pens are made. Is that a common job? Pen making?

  ‘Can I have everyone’s attention, please?’ Principal Davis said from the front of the cafeteria. He clapped hi
s hands. ‘Please everyone, eyes up here.’

  The room full of students slowly became silent. I saw Zoe and Faith a few tables down, sitting next to each other. Gavin and Brayden were also seated at another a table together. My shoulders slumped. How come they got to sit together?

  Principal Davis continued. ‘At your table, you’ll find your name tags along with a folder of important items you’ll need for the week. Please clip your name tags to your shirts so your mentor knows your name.’

  I wondered if Principal Davis would have a hard time finding a real ninja to be my mentor. Who am I kidding? Of course he’d have a hard time finding one because you don’t find a ninja … they find you.

  ‘Open your folder and take a look at the last sheet,’ Principal Davis said.

  The last sheet was a piece of orange and white card with numbers down the front of it. Next to each number was a set of blank circles marked with letters of the alphabet. It looked like a test.

  ‘There’s a questionnaire for each student to fill out,’ Principal Davis said. ‘Once you’re done, please leave them on the table for a teacher to pick up. The results of your questionnaire will determine which career is right for you, so answer as honestly as you can.’

  ‘What?’ I whispered hoarsely. ‘We don’t get to choose our careers?’

  From the other side of the table, someone said, ‘What? You thought you could just write ‘ninja’ and one would show up to this school?’

  I didn’t need to turn around to know it was Wyatt. And judging from the smell of spearmint, I was pretty sure his girlfriend, Olivia Jones, was right next to him. They’re the weirdest couple I’d ever seen. Most of the time, they just stand in the hallway between classes, holding hands and laughing maniacally. Imagine that for a second. Weird, right?

  ‘Aloha,’ Wyatt grinned when I finally looked at him. I’m not sure why he said hello in Hawaiian. He’s definitely not from Hawaii.

  Wyatt was wearing a sash with ‘VICE PRESIDENT’ on it. I’m pretty sure the school doesn’t have a sash like that, which means that Wyatt probably made it himself.